Gas Prices - JE

The Robot

Kyle's Dad brought home a robot one day.
The robot had the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied. Kyle returned late from school
Dad asked, Son why are you late from school?
Dad, we had extra classes today, the robot slapped Kyle on his face.
Dad shouted, "come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"
Dad, I went to see the movie Ten Commandments, Kyle got another slap from the robot.
Sorry dad, I went to see the movie "Red HotQueen".
"Shame on you son, when I was your age, I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved",........ immediately, he gets a hot slap on the face from
the robot.
Kyle's mom comes walking out of the kitchen and says to her husband... "After all, he's your son!"
the robot steps up and slaps Kyle's mom

BEHIND EVERY MAN IS A SMART WOMAN

Barbara Walters of Television's 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.

From Ms. Walter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime,

the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked,

'Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, 'Land Mines.'

Orkut Profile Of a Software Engineer

About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok...I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me--> "Just stop laughing!!")

Relationship Status : what? Shocked

Birthday : The day my PL is about to fire me.

Age : 10111
1111
111

Here for : web browsing in company hours.
Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)

Ethnicity : Programmer.

Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101

Religion : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.

Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!

Humor : weekly.

Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.

Smoking : The second greatest pleasure on the earth.

Drinking : The first is this.

Pets: Yeah, my manager looks like a dog. Smile

Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!

Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)

Webpage: naukri (dot) com , jobsahead (dot) com Isn't it Ultimate???

Passions: searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.

Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.

Activities: Are you crazy?

Books: "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored.

Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.

Tv shows : can't afford one.

Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meters of my cubicle....

Love Hurts- Marriage Kills

del.icio.us Tags: joke,pictures,fun,photo,marriage

Some of the nicest wives one can have

Tibet Plans for Olympics

I got this one in JEmail. Thought of sharing it here on my block. The jokes are really cool and witty...You can subscribe it

here.

Some of the Plans that they might be having are:

1. Combating Stupidity
2. You, too, can do housework
3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut
4. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")
5. Get a life -- learn to cook
6. Understanding your financial incompetence
7. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money
8. Reasons to give flowers
9. How to stay awake after sex
10. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet")
11. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms
12. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency
13. Romanticism - Ideas other than sex
14. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes
15. Mother-in-laws -- They are people, too
16. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home
17. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson,
especially when naked!")
18. Changing your underwear -- It really works
19. Techniques for calling home
20. You -- The Weaker S3x

How China's Olympic Logo was Invented

Change your name to Japanese

Carmen is Mikashirinkuto...what's yours??

A - ka

B -  tu

C - mi

D - te

E - ku

F - lu

G - ji

H - ri

I - ki

J - zu

K - me

L - ta

M - rin

N - to

O -mo

P - no

Q - ke

R - shi

S - ari

T -chi

U - do

V - ru

W -mei

X - na

Y - fu

Z - zi

Quotes Of the Day

Hey I was sitting and getting bored in my office. So found some quotes
that I think That you all should give a thought. Hehe...... Nevermind.
Here They Are

- It's Best to avoid standing between a competitive jerk and his goals

- It takes 43 muscles to Frown and 17 to Smile, But it Doesn't Take Any
to Just Sit There With A Dumb Look On Your Face.

- Always remember that you are unique, Just like everybody else.

- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you would
be a fool to withold that from your superiors

- Leaders are like Eagles. We don't have Either of them here.

- If a pretty poster and a cute saying is all it takes to motivate you,
You probably have a very easy job. The kind Robots will be doing soon.

- You can do anything you set your mind to when you have Vision,
Determination and an endless supply of Expendable Labor

- Power Corrupts, Absolute power corrupts absolutely, But it rocks
Absolutely too.

- Some People live to dream of success, while other people live to crush
those dreams.

- The journey of thousand miles sometimes end very very baadly.

- You aren't being paid to believe in power of your own Dreams.

Why I feel sleepy in my office??

Now I came to know

The Reason lies here

I am just bringing a meaning to the word

Really cool joke

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their
domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a
peaceful & loving couple!" A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the
secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We
Visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the
canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife
quietly said, 'That's once'."


"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again.
Once more my wife quietly said, 'that's twice.' "We hadn't gone a
half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly
took out a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

"I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse,
while I was shouting; she looked at me, and quietly said,
'That's once'...............



and we lived happily ever after."

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